The idea of a parent training one’s child for adulthood and life sounds like common sense. However I got to thinking about it. Do I really focus on “training” my child? I realized that I often expect my kids to pick things up on their own.
As I thought about how I grew up, I don’t feel like my parents intentionally “trained” me or taught me life skills. My parents were not around that often, so I was left alone. I had to teach myself how to keep a home, how to clean, how to do laundry, how to do life.
How is this reflected in my own parenting? I used to feel like a babysitter. Like my job was to watch the kids all day long until they went to bed. It finally dawned on me that my job as a parent is to teach my children, to train them up. It sounds like that should be common sense, but sadly it wasn’t. No, I didn’t necessarily leave my children to do their own thing all the time. I did teach them some things, but I don’t think I realized the enormity of my job.
If I asked my kids to clean their room or pick up toys, it never occurred to me that I needed to teach them to do it. I just expected them to pick it up somehow & know where to put things, like I did.
I think I also expect them to react appropriately in social situations. This again, is where training comes in. I was never trained/guided in this area, but wish I had been. As a result, it doesn’t come naturally for me to look for opportunities to train my children. I have to be intentional. I can’t just let my kids argue & bicker and figure it out. I have to teach them the right way to respond when provoked or not provoked. They have to be taught in order to know what to practice.
Maybe by the last child, I’ll have this down pat.
