As a mom, we feel pressure to have our kids turn out a certain way. If our child hits another child, we tend to feel like a bad mom. After all, a good mom would teach her child not to hit, irregardless of his free will. There is so much pressure, but we are encouraged by loved ones to let the pressure go. Our child’s choices are theirs and do not reflect who we are as moms (although I think they might a tad). All we can do is try our best and hope our children turn out to be responsible God-fearing adults with integrity.
In light of this, I have seen so much criticism pointed toward the parents of Josh and Anna Duggar during this latest scandal. If the parents had done “X”, then “Y” wouldn’t have happened. If they weren’t so legalistic, then their children would have turned out better. If they weren’t so patriarchy, then Anna would have employment skills and not be forced into a mindless “submissive” wife position (which I don’t agree with). It saddens me. We are such a critical society. We don’t have to agree with everyone’s parenting practices, but we should try to be empathetic and look through their eyes. Most parents do the best they can to raise their children. They don’t maliciously follow certain practices like only wearing skirts to cause ill-will toward their children. They practice what they believe is right.
This is the pressure that all moms feel. Yeah, we are told to give ourselves a break and not let that pressure get to us, but case in point, if our child does something really bad, like Josh Duggar, and it’s public knowledge, then we WILL be criticized and thought of as bad parents.
I’ve read: “If only his parents had not done the TV show while Josh was struggling with sexual sin.” The right or wrongness of having a TV show is a mute point (perhaps), but take that away and it comes down to 2 parents who thought they were doing a good thing. Maybe they didn’t realize the stronghold the sin had on him. I don’t know. It all boils down to the fact that these are real people, trying to raise their family to the best of their abilities. No parent is perfect – no reality show parent, no non-reality show parent. As parents, we should be less critical of others. Although perhaps we are critical to make ourselves feel better? We tell ourselves: “At least I didn’t put my family on TV”, or “At least my son didn’t do this”…
I wish our society would focus on building people up rather than tearing them down, especially when they are already down. The deeds are done. What can we do “right now” to help “build up” families, not tear them down regardless of what has happened?
